Where Have I Been?

I have really neglected my blog and every other social media account I have for the last few months. This year has certain been a difficult one. A year full of a lot of stress and emotion that has simply distracted me from the one thing that allows me to process most of my thoughts.

I started off the year mentally in a really bad place, I knew I was struggling and unhappy with life and didn't quite know what was going to fix it. The way I was feeling brought me to break up with Dan which I soon realised wasn't the answer to my issues, he was and is someone I want in my life, he is someone that accepts me for who I am and embraces my quirks.

I decided I wanted to study, I wanted time for myself where I was Simone and no just Aella's mum. By the end of January I was an interior design student.

With in a month of starting my course my Grandad became really unwell, in my heart, despite all the positivity that came from the family about him getting better, I knew he wouldn't. 3 months later at 7.18am on 19th May I received the phone call, the phone call that I new was coming I just didn't know when, Grandad had died.

2 weeks later, all within 1 week. I had a funeral, a wedding and Aella's birthday which was an extremely emotional week, one where fake smiles were in full force.

The studying during this time had not being going well, I was continually extending course work due dates and feeling extremely demotivated. Not only demotivated to study but to do anything, to do hobbies, to do the house work and even to talk to people.

Fortunately news and life did get better. We are now expected out second baby, work is being handed in nearly on time (1 day over the due date is a lot better than 2 weeks over!) and despite the first 12 weeks of this pregnancy feeling awful, I'm feeling so much more motivated. Something has settled within, my anxiety has calmed down and I am feeling happy, content with life. I look at Dan and feel love again, I don't feel distant from him like I did at the beginning of the year. We have started to laugh again and simply enjoy each others company (well I think he enjoys mine!).

I still get emotional and writing this post today hasn't been easy. Although I have only touched upon a few subjects that have distracted me for the majority of the year, the feelings I felt are so easy to remember. I am hoping the last few months of this year are happy ones and I hope to return to my social media accounts and continue to write!

#Life #Love #Emotions #Loss