Dear Brother

Dear Brother,

I was sat with Mum in a lovely little cafe and we spoke about you. About that time you stopped seeing Dad because of me. I suddenly burst into tears and mum asked why, I guess it was because I've never really spoken much about it and how much of an impact it had on my life. After 6 years of thinking you didn't like me, I found out you did and you actually cared. I don't remember the pain that Dad caused me then, I think I blocked a lot of it out. I guess I didn't want the memory of me screaming at Dad from a car whilst you went to visit him.

I know you say you're not bothered about a relationship with dad (If that's true now, was it really true back then?) it was so selfless to sacrifice your relationship with our father because you loved me and didn't want to see me cry and feel the pain I was feeling.

Sometimes I feel so selfish, my situation got a lot of attention from family members. People would always talk to me about it when I was having a bad time. Not once did I stop and ask you how you were feeling! It may be a little late but, How are you brother? I don't mean generally, I mean mentally? Has it messed your head up a little too? How do you feel when you think about him? Does he make you angry, or is there just no feeling?

I don't know if I ever expressed to you, how much it meant to me what you did. Dad broke my heart (sometimes I still feel a little ache), disowned me and made me feel like I wasn't good enough and for that, that I shouldn't be in his life. I always got the impression you thought I overreacted, whinged and sought attention. I thought you hated me. Then that evening I was relieved of some pain, you, my brother told me you loved me. You told me it wasn't fair for him to see you and not me, you had put yourself in my shoes and thought about how it must of felt to be me, your actions never received the credit they deserved. Right there and then it felt like you was there with sticky tape, taping my broken heart back together. You was never horrible to me again, instead you helped me pull through when I was in a really bad place and continued to stand by me. You put a smile on my face when all I wanted to do was cry, that I was good enough and over the years you made me realise I didn't need him in my life, you helped form the person I am today boosting my confidence and encouraging me to do things I thought I couldn't do. For that I can't thank you enough.

I couldn't have asked for a better brother. Thank you for being my shoulder to cry on, not allowing me to give up when something got tough, keeping me on track, making me smile, cuddling me and getting me tissue to wipe the blood when I walk into door frames. Seriously brother you are one in a million.

I Love You Bro

Sis x